says michael phelps "i have sinned"

i knew michael phelps was a loser from day one, now the rest of you are becoming hip to the idea. yes, phelps is a pothead.

the worst part is, he is not only killing himself with this vile devil weed, he could well be responsible for the deaths of millions even billions of children who look up to him as a role model.

george w. bush, not famously enough, was quoted saying: “i wouldn’t answer the marijuana questions, you know why? because i don’t want some little kid doing what i tried.”

bravo mr. president, well done. that's the difference between a great visionary like president bush and a pot pushing child murderer like mr. phelps; president bush loves and cherishes all life and phelps is happy to see children of all ages strung out on the weeds. phelps may as well be an evolutionary abortionist.

to make things worse, phelps had the nerve to apologize for "behavior which was regrettable and demonstrated bad judgment." judgement??!! how about a halocostic catastrophe that the republicans will still be cleaning up generations from now! michael phelps, you fucked up. your recklessness has set in motion a chain of events which can not be undone, even by obama; the collapse of the housing market, the banking and auto industries and just wait until credit card debt catches up with us. this is just beginning and we have michael phelps to thank.

i would write more but i'm way too bakeaked.

mccain drills for crude oil in palins back yard

"shit senator, your dry balls have been slapping my ass for several hours now. i know you've slept through it but you are quite literally humping a dead horse."

this one required a lot of photoshop work to remove all of the herpie scabs from around the governesses cunt and ass. i also applied a youth filter to senator mccains nut sack and embiggened his dick so that it appears to actually fill palins gaping asshole.

as it turns out, the good senator did indeed strike black gold, his flesh drill was covered in the stuff. sarah palin called her daughter bristol into the room and told her "now bristol, as a christian family, this is how we engage in sex before marriage. i only wish i had taught you sooner." and she slurped her shit off of the senators cock.

when bristol turns 18, i have a feeling her mom will invite her to join the fun. judging by the way he looks at her, old man mccain will be happy to oblige.

obama - still pretty much a muslim

barack obama likes to avoid the subject but i don't.  he flip-flopped on his religion, pure and simple, and here's how i got there:

his father was a muslim and his mother was an atheist which means she doesn't count.  hence, obama was born a muslim.  what's so hard to understand about that?

at some point he decided to flip-flop and become a christian.  having been a muslim for his entire life until that point, he couldn't join a normal white republican church.  he had to join a crazy black liberal terrorist church because that's all he knew.

unfortunately for him, a hero in the congregation filmed some of the fanatical sermons and posted them on youtube in order to expose their terroristical ways.  the news spread, to their chagrin, so obama and reverend wright hatched an ingenious scheme.

the evil reverend scheduled a series of interviews then appeared on camera acting like he was all high on the crack but it was just a ruse to give obama an excuse to pretend to sever their relationship.

don't be fooled.  if obama moves into the white house, reverend wright will be right behind.  they will let their afros grow out and eat soul food.  they'll sing real loud and dance in perfect rhythm.  and they will raise chickens!!  inside the white house!!

you've been warned.  don't vote for barack obama because he still has the muslim inside and they like to cut people's heads off.   

cover my face with cum!

democrats are all hippies. republicans are all hillbillies.

with that out of the way, it is important to remember that the usa was never intended to be a democracy and the word never appears in the constitution.

we were to be a republic, which is sort of the same but mostly not.

we were not to be a christian nation, we were to be enlightened.

the majority of americans are neither hippie nor hillbilly, yet they are either compelled to swallow their sensibilities and vote for one of the 2 parties or keep their sensibilities by not voting at all.

sarah palin represents the anti american which is why she is depicted here the way she really is inside. she is a religious nut, which means she is a hypocrite and she believes in abstinence education which is why her daughter is knocked up. her hard line views on abortion landed a retarded baby in her lap. the fact that she allowed herself to get pregnant at 44 years old raises serious questions about her views on contraception. or common sense. or honesty.

remember, all republican politicians (with the exception of ron paul) are either closet homosexuals, have a diaper fetish, take bribes, molest children, do the 'santorum' or any number of despicable things that are unfit for print on this site.

sarah palin is a cunt and americans are just stupid enough to elect her.

sarah palin - lipstick pig

"with enough lipstick, i could fuck this pig."

one imagines this could be a direct quote from alaska governor sarah palin about the grand champion market hog of the 2008 alaska state fair. did she really purchase the porker at auction to keep as a pet?

politicians are known for 'bringing home the pork,' but not usually for humping it!

with sarah palin as a potential pig fucker and obama a sexist, a third party seems the way to go.

Joe Biden - Economist

ya gotta dance with them what brung ya.  nobody knows that like thirty eight year senator, joe biden of delaware.   the credit card industry brought him to the dance and he has put out like a slut for them.

new york may be the banking center of the world but delaware is the credit card center of the united states.  in 1981, delaware passed the financial center development act.  the act seriously relaxed the states usury (legal loan sharking by banks) laws making use of a loophole in federal law.  it goes something like this:

when you use a credit card, you are doing business with a bank which may be headquartered in a different state than yours.  the bank is bound by the usury laws of their home state, not yours.  as you may well imagine, the fcda attracted shady banks to delaware like democrats to a book store, (or, to be fair, like republicans to a science book burning), all eager to get a high interest credit card into your hand.

2005 - the bankruptcy abuse prevention and consumer protection act (barf for short) was rammed through congress by joe biden's masters in the delaware bank boardrooms.  it was signed into law by a giggly president bush.  compared to the money dick cheney was kicking up to him for his energy policy racket, this looked like a gold mine.

sadly, in a rare lapse in moral correctness for him, joe biden voted for the bill.  thus finishing off his dirty lap dance for the delaware credit card family with a happy ending.

ps. for the record, obama voted nay, mccain voted yay with president bush and clinton, curiously, did not vote.  one presumes she was busy campaigning for the 2008 presidential election

vote for nader.

Palin + Hillary + Dildo Caption Contest

there are so many possible captions for this one, i can't choose. Leave your best suggestion in the comments section and the one that sucks the least will be immortalized.

what's the prize? jack shit! do it for the good of the country.

Republican Family Values

sarah palin is a cunt.  a horrible, bitchy cunt.  an evil, vindictive, nasty, worse than DICK cheney cunt.

it must be nice to be upper-middle class.  i would have to punch my daughter in the belly until she miscarried because i couldn't afford an abortion, let alone a grandchild with a fourteen year old mother with no father.

studies show that republican girls are 10,000 times more likely to take it in the butt and 50,000 times more likely to suck cock than normal girls.  if sarah palin was home more like she should have been, she could have taught bristol these things.

20080816

This is my attempt to recreate the 'marijuana harmless?' 9-11 wtc poster seen on the south park episode 'my future self 'n' me.'  it is nearly impossible to find a copy using google image search so i made one myself.

the original 'marijuana harmless?' 9-11 wtc poster seen on the south park episode 'my future self 'n' me.'  i used vintage screen capture equipment to take the image directly from my t.v.

i had a dickens of a time getting DICK cheney to pose with bill maher.  they were all "go fuck yourself," "no, go fuck your mother,"  "fuck your daddy" and so on for an hour.  i finally got a nice pose by promising to strangle a baby while they jacked off.

ann coulter actually said "i'll campaign for hillary if john mccain is the nominee"  i wish hillary was the nominee just so ann coulter would have to stuff her words.  ann coulter is a cunt.

let's hope not.

john mccain was shot down and captured during the vietnam war.  what more evidence of his qualifications to be president do you hippies need?

barack hussein obama bin-laden.  what else is there to say?

digital rendering of trig palin in 3 years.